I'm Very Pleased To Be Here. Let's

Take Care Not To Wear Stripes That Are Out Of Sync With Your Wrinkles.

I Don't Worry About Getting Old. I'm Old Already. Only Young People Worry About Getting Old. When I Was 65, I Had Cupid's Eczema. I Don't Believe In Dying. It's Been Done. I'm Working On A New Exit. Besides, I Can't Die Now - I'm Booked.

I'm At The Age Now Where Just Putting My Cigar In Its Holder Is A Thrill.

From Paris We Took The Orient Express To Vienna. I Must Say I Was Terribly Disappointed; Nobody Was Murdered On The Train.

Be Sure To Wear A Good Cologne, A Nice Aftershave Lotion, And A Strong Underarm Deodorant. And It Might Be A Good Idea To Wear Some Clothes, Too.