I'm Tired Of All This Nonsense About

I Think If You Can Write A Play, Or Produce A Play, The First Step Toward Success [is] If People Don't Want To Kill Themselves In The Lobby. Now There Must Be Four Or Five Other Steps, But That's The First.

Some People Have Such A Talent For Making The Best Of A Bad Situation That They Go Around Creating Bad Situations So They Can Make The Best Of Them.

Being Divorced Is Like Being Hit By A Mack Truck. If You Live Through It, You Start Looking Very Carefully To The Right And To The Left.

Do You Know How Helpless You Feel If You Have A Full Cup Of Coffee In Your Hand And You Start To Sneeze?

Years Ago When A Man Began To Notice That If He Stood Up On The Subway He Was Immediately Replaced By Two People, He Figured He Was Getting Too Fat.