I'm The Foe Of Moderation, The Champion

If I Had To Live My Life Again, I'd Make The Same Mistakes, Only Sooner.

Whatever You Have Read I Have Said Is Almost Certainly Untrue, Except If It Is Funny, In Which Case I Definitely Said It.

Here's A Rule I Recommend: Never Practice Two Vices At Once.

My Progress Reminded Me Of The Horses In The Whip. They Raced At The Limit Of Their Speed Directly Toward The Audience. But They Raced On A Treadmill Which Canceled Out Their Progress.

A Frozen Daiquiri Of A Scorching Afternoon Is Soothing. It Makes Living More Tolerable.