Here's A Rule I Recommend: Never Practice

Going Down On A Woman Gives Me A Stiff Neck, Going Down On A Man Gives Me Lockjaw And Conventional Sex Gives Me Claustrophobia.

A Republican. A Republican. That's Worse Than Being A Goddamned Communist!

Only Good Girls Keep Diaries. Bad Girls Don't Have Time.

Working On Television Is Like Being Shot Out Of A Cannon. They Cram You All Up With Rehearsals, Then Someone Lights A Fuse And - .bang! - There You Are In Someone's Living Room.

Too Many Of Our Countrymen Rejoice In Stupidity, Look Upon Ignorance As A Badge Of Honor. They Condemn Everything They Don't Understand.