I'm Not A Politician, I'm A Comedian.

I'm Not A Star, And I Don't Want To Be A Star. Stars Fall. I'm An Ordinary Guy With An Extraordinary Job.

I Always Wanted To Scuba Dive. I Used To Scuba Dive Undercover Like Black Aquaman.

I Don't Ever Watch Myself. By Watching, You Try To Perfect Yourself, Become A Robot.

I Want To Speak Directly To The Audience, To Say, 'i'm Like You - I'm Frustrated, I'm Not An Expert, I Don't Have A Manual On Parenting, I Make Mistakes, I'm Selfish Too.'

I Don't Care About How I Look; I'm Dedicated To The Laughs. You Know, I Used To Be A Clown, So - My Name Was Smoothie The Clown. All The Training I Had, All My Training Is Geared Toward Making People Laugh, And I Didn't Care About Being Cool.