I'm Not A Political Comedian. That's Just

There's No Way You Ask Sean Penn A Question And Then, You're Gonna Be Huge !

When I Take My Kids Out For Dinner Or Lunch, People Smile At Us.

If You're A Cartoon Character Or Most Tv Characters, Sure, You'll Fight, Because The Punches Are Juicy-sounding And They Don't Leave Marks. But In Real Life, If Somebody Punches You In The Eye, It Doesn't Make Any Noise And Your Eye Is Swollen For, Like, Six Months. It's A Nightmare To Get Punched In The Eye.

Last Week I Got A Flu That I Caught, 'cause My Daughter Coughed ... Into My Mouth.

I Do Actually Use A Boxing Trainer When I Train For Stand-up.