I'm A Deep Thinker When It Comes

I Found Someones Passport On The Ground Tonight. Where Do You Sell These Things?

I Think Beating Someone To Death With A Ukulele Would Just Sound Funny.

You Can't Become Tempted If You Just Give In A Little Quicker.

I Can Always Get Better. A Lot Of My Ex-girlfriends Don't Think I'm Funny.

You Have To Realize, When You're A Comedian, That You Have To Have A Thick Skin. And Trust Me, Being Onstage In Front Of People Is Already Difficult Enough. Somebody's Personal Attack In An Email Is Not As Hard As Getting Onstage.