If Your Thighs Look Like The Hood

The Thing About That Singles Apartment Is You Never Had To Clean It Up... Until The Day You Got The Security Deposit Back. You're Arguing With The Landlord... 'no Sir, The Back Door Was Missing When We Moved In Here! The Pizzas Were Always On The Ceiling!'

How Is A Redneck Divorce Similar To A Tornado? You Know That Somewhere, Somehow, Someone Is Gonna Lose A Trailer.

You Might Be A Redneck If Your Anniversary Present Was Getting The Septic Tank Pumped.

Please Don't Get Me Wrong Here. I'm Not Making Fun Of Old People. In Fact I Think That's The Goal Of Everybody Here Tonite. We All Want To Be An Old Person Someday.

It's Hard To Think Of Yourself As A Loser At 2 Years Old.