If You Were The Only Person Left

Will Rogers…used To Come Out With A Newspaper And Pretend He Was A Yokel Criticizing The Intellectuals Who Ran The Government. I Come Out With A Newspaper And Pretend I’m An Intellectual Making Fun Of The Yokels Running The Government.

Professional Comedians, Surprisingly, Have A Lack Of Humor. They're Insensitive To The Insanity Of Our Times.

I Used To Go Out With Actresses And Other Female Impersonators.

Liberals Feel Unworthy Of Their Possessions. Conservatives Feel They Deserve Everything They've Stolen.

Reagan Won Because He Ran Against Jimmy Carter. If He Ran Unopposed He Would Have Lost.