If You Can't Write Your Own Material,

I Told My Kids, "someday, You'll Have Kids Of Your Own." One Of Them Said, "so Will You."

I Took My Son To Coney Island, I Said "wanna Go In The Crazy House?", He Said "save Your Money We'll Be Home Soon"!

My Wife Wants Sex In The Back Of The Car And She Wants Me To Drive.

I Have Good Looking Kids. Thank Goodness My Wife Cheats On Me.

My Wife Can't Cook At All. She Made Chocolate Mousse. An Antler Got Stuck In My Throat.