If I Could Have Dinner With Anyone

I Asked My Wife, 'on A Scale Of 1 To 10, How Do You Rate Me As A Lover?' She Said, 'you Know I'm No Good At Fractions.'

I Told My Doctor I Got Water On My Knee, He Gave Me A Sponge And Raised His Fee!

Last Halloween A Kid Tried To Rip My Face Off. He Thought It Was A Mask. Now It's Different When I Open The Door The Kids Hand Me Candy.

I Was Making Love To This Girl And She Started Crying. I Said, "are You Going To Hate Yourself In The Morning?" She Said, "no, I Hate Myself Now."

Never Guess Your Wife's Size. Just Buy Anything Marked Petite And Hold On To The Receipt.