I'd Really Like To Promote My Increasing

I'd Really Like To Promote My Increasing Consumption Of Bacon.

No One Goes Into Standup To Make Money. The Frustration And Rejection Are Just Too Much.

Failing And Laughing At Your Own Shortcomings Are The Hallmarks Of A Sane Parent.

I'm Kind Of Like A Guy Who's Missing A Little Bit Of The Guy Gene. Like, I Love Steak, But The Notion Of Golfing Is The Last Thing I Would Want To Do. I Love Women, But I'm Also A Mama's Boy, And Some Of My Best Friends Are Women. So I'm Kinda Half Guy's Guy.

Thanksgiving, You Know - Thanksgiving - It's Like We Didn't Even Try To Come Up With A Tradition. The Tradition Is We Overeat.