I Will Only Praise Someone Who Can't

Acting Is My True Love. I Would Like To Have Been A Serious Actor, And I Plan To In The Next Life. I'm Gonna Be Meryl Streep Rivers.

My Mother Was A Very Elegant Woman. When A Flying Saucer Landed On The Lawn, She Turned It Over To See If It Was Wedgwood.

Elizabeth Taylor Has More Chins Than The Chinese Telephone Directory.

My Face Has Been Tucked In More Times Than A Bedsheet At The Holiday Inn.

I Now Consider It A Good Day When I Don't Step On My Boobs.