I Was So Ugly My Parents Had

I Don't Know Kid, There Are So Many Places They Could Hide.

Last Week I Was Walking By A Cemetery, Two Guys Came After Me With Shovels. It Was All About Money.

I Tell Ya, Gambling Never Agreed With Me. Last Week I Went To The Track And They Shot My Horse With The Opening Gun.

With My Wife I Don't Get No Respect. I Made A Toast On Her Birthday To 'the Best Woman A Man Ever Had.' The Waiter Joined Me.

It's Tough To Stay Married. My Wife Kisses The Dog On The Lips, Yet She Won't Drink From My Glass.