I Was So Flat I Used To

Omaha Is A Little Like Newark, Without Newark's Glamour.

Dogs Are Easier To Love Than People; They're Certainly More Dependable. Once They Love You, That's It. A True Friend In Life Is A Dog.

If You Don't Think That All Life Is Improvisation, Then You Haven't Been Paying Attention. Life Is What Happens To You While You're Making Other Plans.

My Husband Wanted To Be Cremated. I Told Him I'd Scatter His Ashes At Neiman Marcus - That Way, I'd Visit Him Every Day.

I'm So Fat And I'm So Depressed; Last Night I Tried To Hang Myself - But The Rope Broke.