I Was At Michael Jackson's House, And

Stand-up Is The Only Career Like That Where Once You Get Really Big At It, People Kind Of Encourage You Not To Do It.

The Thing About Barack Obama, Just From Being Around Him, Is He's Cooler Than The Other Politicians, But Just Nerdy Enough To Do The Job. Like You Can't Be Really Cool And Be The President.

Daddy Pays For The Water, Daddy Pays For The Gas, Daddy Pays For The Electricity, And If Daddy Didn't Pay For The Electricity, He'd Pay For The Candle On Your Nightstand, So You Can Study For The Big Test Tomorrow.

I Love Having Somebody There - That Companion Thing. You Know Who You're Going To Eat With, Who You're Going To See A Movie With.

I Pride Myself On Being The Guy Who Can Do Def Comedy Jam And Charlie Rose. And Do Well On Both.