I Pride Myself On Being The Guy

Before I Was A Comedian, I Thought The Coolest Thing That Would Happen To Me Was Being A Teenager... Boy, Was I Wrong!

The Two Best Things You Can Do For A Person Is Have Sex Or Make Them Laugh.

I'll Go With The Guy With One House. The Guy With One House Is Scared About Losing His House.

I Think My Best Work Is When I'm Kind Of In Charge.

I'm Pretty Good At Getting Over People Throwing Stuff At Me. If You've Been Doing Stand Up Long Enough You Know How To Swing Back And Get The Laughs.