The Two Best Things You Can Do

I'll Probably Pay More Attention To The Musicians In The Pit Than The Stars Because They're The Closest You're Going To Get To Normal People In The Audience.

I Never Wanted To Churn It Out. Comedians Tend To Work All The Time. They Never Put It Down Like Musicians Who Might Make An Album Then Take Three Or Four Years Off To Recharge Their Batteries. Comedians Tend To Work Straight Through And They Get Stale Because Of That. Even When I Didn't Have A Lot Of Money I Never Ever Did It Unless I Had Something New To Say.

The Thing About Having An Audience Right There Laughing Is That Critics Can Write What They Want, But The Proof Is Right There In Front Of You.

You Know The World's Gone Mad When The Best Rapper Is A White Guy, The Best Golfer Is A Black Guy, The Swiss Hold The America's Cup, France Is Accusing The Usa Of Arrogance And The Germans Don't Want To Go To War !

My Mother Always Says: "you Know Better, So You'll Be Punished. Your Friends Don't Know Better, So They Won't Be Punished. They Can Go Snatch Chains And They'll Be Fine. But If You Snatch Chains, You'll End Up In Jail Because You Know Better."