I Was A Bedwetter Until I Was

Everyone's Got Their Own Velocity, And There's No Real Time Frame With Comedy.

I've Never Had An Abortion. And I Don't Know If I Would. But, It Doesn't Mean That I Wouldn't Fight To The Death For Women To Make Their Own Choices For Their Own Human Bodies.

I Was Paralyzed With Fear. It Was Unbearable To Be Among Other Kids Who Were Just Standing Around Being Fine. It Was One Of The Many Inconveniences Of This Paradox I Lived With -the More People I Was Surrounded By, The More Frighteningly Alone I Felt.

I Got Jury Duty And I Didn't Want To Go, So My Friend Said, "you Should Write Something Really Really Racist On The Form When You Return It. Like, You Should Put 'i Hate Chinks'." And I Said, "i'm Not Going To Put That On There Just To Get Out Of Jury Duty. I Don't Want People To Think That About Me." So Instead I Wrote, "i Love Chinks." And Who Doesn't?

I'm Lucky Because I Intentionally Keep My Overhead Low, And So I Can Say, "no, Thank You."