I’ve Had So Much Plastic Surgery, When

No Man Will Ever Put His Hand Up Your Dress Looking For A Library Card.

The Fashion Magazines Are Suggesting That Women Wear Clothes That Are 'age Appropriate.' For Me That Would Be A Shroud.

Half Of All Marriages End In Divorce- And Then There Are The Really Unhappy Ones.

Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes Had The Baby. He Was There For The Birth. It Would've Been Nice If He Was There For The Conception.

The Worst Thing That Ever Happened To Me On Stage Is Someone Ran Forward To Tell Me They Loved Me And Projectile Vomited All Over The Stage. It Was Horrible.