I Think There's As Much Profundity And

I Like The British Public. There Is Something In This Country Called Tall Poppy Syndrome. You're Good But You're Not That Good, Pal, Ok? The Natural State Of Our Nation Is Slightly Miserable, And Probably The Healthier For It. In America You Don't Get A Key Down The Side Of Your Bentley.

Even If I Screw Up In My Personal Life, As Long As I'm Not Destroying Myself, I Just Think, "okay, I Screwed Up." I'm Not Mother Theresa.

Got My Fungal Foot Powder? Ah, It's A Lifesaver, You Know. I'd Effectively Be Disabled If It Weren't For These.

All Those People Who Go Around Saying Life Begins At Forty, They're Notable By Their Absence. The Nerve.

London Audiences Are Tricky, Too. They Don't Laugh As Much As The Northern Audiences Because, And I Hate To Say This, They Are A Bit Cleverer Normally, And They Are Picking Up On All The Little Details And Listening More Carefully.