I Think That For The Most Part,

I Tolerate Lactose Like I Tolerate People.

There's Nothing That Reflects Me. I'm Unreflectable!

All Of A Sudden I Discovered That I'm Allergic To Caviar. It Was The Perfect Metaphor For My Life. When I Was Only Able To Afford Bad Caviar, I Could Certainly Eat My Fill Of It.

I Was Planning On My Future As A Homeless Person. I Had A Really Good Spot Picked Out.

Hear The Birds? Sometimes I Like To Pretend That I'm Deaf And I Try To Imagine What It's Like Not To Be Able To Hear Them. It's Not That Bad.