I Think I Think, Therefore I Think

Pandemonium, N. Literally, The Place Of All The Demons. Most Of Them Have Escaped Into Politics And Finance, And The Place Is Now Used As A Lecture Hall By The Audible Reformer.

Vanity, N. The Tribute Of A Fool To The Worth Of The Nearest Ass.

Patriotism, N. Combustible Rubbish Ready To The Torch Of Any One Ambitious To Illuminate His Name. In Dr. Johnson's Famous Dictionary Patriotism Is Defined As The Last Resort Of A Scoundrel. With All Due Respect To An Enlightened But Inferior Lexicographer I Beg To Submit It Is The First.

Crayfish, N. A Small Crustacean Very Much Resembling The Lobster, But Less Indigestible.

Convictions Are Variable; To Be Always Consistent Is To Be Sometimes Dishonest.