I Spent All Night Feeding The Homeless

I'm Too Cynical To Be An Optimist.

I Don't Think People Shouldn't Try To Be Edgy, But You Have To Take What The Audience Says To You In Consideration.

I'm Interested In Doing Some Acting In The Future, But It's A Distant Second To Stand Up.

I Was A Terrible Employee. I've Been Fired From Almost Every Job I've Ever Had, Luckily, In A Good Way, Or Else I'd Be Stuck. I Would Always Joke Around With Everybody, And No One Enjoyed My Humor.

My Girlfriend Wants An Open Relationship. I Said No Way. What Kind Of Man Would I Be If I Had To Tell My Friends I Date You?