I See Martial Arts As Moving Forms

No Girl Wants A Secretly Gay Boyfriend, Every Dude Wants A Secretly Gay Girlfriend.

I Never Want To Compromise My Act Just To Get A Laugh.

Houston People Are Way Cool. They're Smart, They Know How To Have A Good Time, And They Have The Hottest Chicks On The Planet There.

The Misconception Is That Standup Comics Are Always On. I Don't Know Any Really Funny Comics That Are Annoying And Constantly Trying To Be Funny All The Time.

When You Snatch Little Pieces Of Other People's Lives And Try To Palm Them Off As Your Own, That's More Disgusting Than Anything. Robin Williams Is A Huge Thief. Denis Leary Is A Huge Thief. His Whole Stand-up Career Is Based On Bill Hicks, A Brilliant Guy Who Died Years Ago.