I Say God Bless You... I Don't

Text A Guy You Like Right Now, "i'm Thinking About You." If He Says, "mmm Are You In Bed?" Never Speak To Him Again He's A Lifelong Moron.

You Can't Become Tempted If You Just Give In A Little Quicker.

Ex-girlfriends Will Find Themselves In My New Routine. Sometimes They Like That, And Sometimes They Definitely Do Not. But Comedians Should Come With A Giant Warning Or Disclaimer: If You Date Me, It Will Be In My Act.

If A Kid Is Really Interested In Wanting To Have A Career In Aviation, He's Actually Learning And Getting Some Of The [basics], Not Even Just Fringe. There Are Things In Here That Movie [planes] About Like The Pulp Of An Engine, And It's The Actual Engine, The Actual Parts And Pieces. So I Felt Like I Got Schooled As Well. I Learned A Lot Just Being In There And Doing That.

What Am I Supposed To Say To An Atheist When He Sneezes, Ah, When You Die Nothing Happens.