I've Lived (in La) For So Long,

I'm Sure That People Who Have Been Tweeting Funny Things Have Ended Up On Writing Staffs Of A Late Night Show.

You Have To Realize, When You're A Comedian, That You Have To Have A Thick Skin. And Trust Me, Being Onstage In Front Of People Is Already Difficult Enough. Somebody's Personal Attack In An Email Is Not As Hard As Getting Onstage.

I Don't Know If I Could Kill Someone With A Frozen Turkey Because That Is A Lot Of Evidence To Eat .... Unless I Found A Whole Room Of People Who Also Wanted That Person Dead.

I Always Wanted To Do A B&e. Not Bacon And Eggs. Although I Could Always Go For Bacon And Eggs. I'm Talking About Breaking In And Entering.

It Really Drives Me Banana Sangwich.