I Recently Took Up Ice Sculpting. Last

I Was Going To Get My Teeth Whitened, But I Said, "i'll Just Get A Tan Instead."

I Had A Velcro Wallet In A Casino. That Sound Annoyed The Hell Out Of Me. Whenever I Lost Money, And I Opened The Wallet, It Was Like The Sound Of My Addiction.

I Played Golf... I Did Not Get A Hole In One, But I Did Hit A Guy. That's Way More Satisfying.

People Who Smoke Cigarettes, They Say "you Don't Know How Hard It Is To Quit Smoking." Yes I Do. It's As Hard As It Is To Start Flossing.

People On The 14th Floor, You Know What Floor You’re Really On.