I Knew A Girl So Ugly, They

When My Old Man Wanted Sex, My Mother Would Show Him A Picture Of Me.

I Came From A Real Tough Neighborhood. On My Street, The Kids Take Hubcaps - From Moving Cars.

Better To Keep Quiet And Let People Think You're An Idiot Than Speak Up And Confirm It.

I Tell Ya, My Wife's A Lousy Cook. After Dinner, I Don't Brush My Teeth. I Count Them.

It Was The Same Thing In The Army, No Respect. They Gave Me A Uniform That Glowed In The Dark.