I Feel Like Dying When I'm Helpless

If Any Of You Cry At My Funeral I'll Never Speak To You Again.

If You Had A Face Like Mine, You'd Punch Me Right On The Nose, And I'm Just The Fella To Do It.

Humor Is The Truth; Wit Is An Exaggeration Of The Truth.

I Had A Dream That I Was Awake And I Woke Up To Find Myself Asleep.

You Can Lead A Horse To Water, But A Pencil Must Be Led.