I Don't Think I'm A Star Or

You Ever Make Fun Of Someone So Much, You Think You Should Thank Them For All The Good Times You've Had?

I'm A Stand-up Comic. Anything Else I Do Besides That Is A Plus, But Stand-up Comedy Is What I Do, It's What I've Been Doing And It's What I'm Going To Keep Doing.

You Know What My Drink Is? Jack Daniel's. Yes, That Is A Wild Man Drink. That Should Come With Bail Money, You Know What I'm Saying? Because On Jack, You Don't Know Where You're Going To End Up, But You Know When You Get There, You Won't Be Wearing Any Pants.

I Love Fear Factor, But I Think They're Running Out Of Fears. It's Only A Matter Of Time Before They're Sitting Around Doing Shots Of Hepatitis C.

You Know, Men And Women Are A Lot Alike In Certain Situations. Like When They're Both On Fire - They're Exactly Alike.