I’d Like To See A Forklift Lift

I Like It When You Buy Something And Pay With A Credit Card, They Put Your Credit Card On The Receipt, But Only The Last Four Numbers. Aha! I'm Really Good At Guessing Twelve Numbers. I Can't Guess 16 Numbers, So Thanks For The Assistance!

My Manager Said, "don't Use Liquor As A Crutch!" I Can't Use Liquor As A Crutch, Because A Crutch Helps Me Walk.

I Was On A Bus Once, It Was In The Middle Of The Night, And I Had A Box Of Crackers And A Can Of Easy Cheese. It Was Dark, And It Was A Surprise How Much Cheese I Had Applied On Each Cracker. That's Why They Should Have A Glow-in-the-dark Version Of Easy Cheese. It's Not Like The Product Has Any Integrity To Begin With. If You Buy A Room-temperature Cheese That You Squeeze Out Of A Can, You Probably Won't Get Mad Because It Glows In The Dark Too.

I Wanted To Get A Tape Recorder, But I Got A Parrot Instead. I Think I Did That Joke Backwards.

If I'm Out To Dinner With A Group Of Friends, And Somebody Offers To Pay For The Check, I Immediately Reach For My Wallet. Inside Is A Note That Says, "say Thanks!"