I Cannot Smell Mothballs Because It's So

Hosting The Oscars Is Much Like Making Love To A Woman. It's Something I Only Get To Do When Billy Crystal Is Out Of Town.

She Has Learned That Her Body Is Precious And It Mustn't Be Offered Carelessly Ever Again, As It Holds A Direct Connection To Her Heart.

There Is Something Going On Now In Mexico That I Happen To Think Is Cruelty To Animals. What I'm Talking About, Of Course, Is Cat Juggling.

How To Make A Million Dollars: First, Get A Million Dollars

I Did A Lot Of Things When I First Started Out. In Order To Be In Show Business, I Juggled, I Did Magic Tricks, Cards Tricks And I Played The Banjo.