I Bought A Seven-dollar Pen Because I

My Lucky Number Is Four Billion. That Doesn't Come In Real Handy When You're Gambling. "come On, Four Billion! Darn! Seven. Not Even Close. I Need More Dice."

I Play The Guitar. I Taught Myself How To Play The Guitar, Which Was A Bad Decision... Because I Didn't Know How To Play It, So I Was A Shitty Teacher. I Would Never Have Went To Me.

Is A Hippopotamus A Hippopotamus Or Just A Really Cool Opotamus?

I Went To A Pizzeria. The Guy Gave Me The Smallest Slice Possible. If The Pizza Was A Pie Chart With What Would You Do If You Found A Million Dollars, He Gave Me The "donate It To Charity" Slice. "i'd Like To Exchange This For The 'keep It!'"

Come On 'long Prosperous Life!'