I Am Not Retiring. Writers Don't Retire.

Obscenities... I Think A Lot Of Dumb People Do It Because They Can't Think Of What They Want To Say And They're Frustrated. A Lot Of Smart People Do It To Pretend They Aren't Very Smart - Want To Be Just One Of The Boys.

I'd Be More Willing To Accept Religion, Even If I Didn't Believe It, If I Thought It Made People Nicer To Each Other But I Don't Think It Does.

All Men Are Not Created Equal But Should Be Treated As Though They Were Under The Law.

Not Many People In This World Are As Lucky As I've Been. ... All This Time I've Been Paid To Say What Is On My Mind On Television. You Don't Get Any Luckier In Life Than That.

I Just Wish We Knew A Little Less About His Urethra And A Little More About His Arms Sales To Iran.