I Always Sit In The Tail End

So I Was In Tesco's And I Saw This Man And Woman Wrapped In A Barcode. I Said "are You Two An Item?"

I Backed Horse Last Week At Ten To One. It Came In At Quarter Past Four.

Man Went Into A Bar, He Only Had One Arm. Guy Sitting Next To Him Said 'hey, You've Got Your Sleeve In My Drink', Man Replied, 'there's No Arm In It'

I Went Into A Butchers And I Said, 'i'll Have A Pound Of Sausages. 'he Said, 'i'm Very Sorry, Sir, We Only Serve Kilos In Here. 'i Said, 'okay Then I'll Have A Pound Of Kilos.'

You Know, Somebody Actually Complimented Me On My Driving Today. They Left A Little Note On The Windscreen, It Said 'parking Fine.'