I Aim To Please. I'm Nothing If

I Had Lived In Fear Of The Fabled Terrifying Visions That Assail Chronic Drinkers, But Which Had Not Yet Attacked Me.

I View My Own Body As A Petting Zoo. I Am The Main Attraction... And The Only Customer.

I'm So Excited About The New Ipad, I Just Ipeed My Ipants.

The Only Thing That I Would Say To Anyone Doing Late Night Shows Is - It Took Me A Couple Years Then - But When You Leave The Studio, It's Over. That's What You Really Have To Do. After A Long Time, I Would Be Like, "maybe I Shouldn't Have Said This," Or "maybe I Shouldn't Have Shown This." But Eventually, I Got To, "ah, F - K It." That's What It Was That Night, Tomorrow's The Next Night.

I Do A Show. It Comes On Late At Night On Tv. And If That Means I'm A Late-night Talk Show Host, Then I Guess I Am, But In Every Other Regard I Resign My Commission, I Don't Care For It.