I Ad Lib Most Of My Dialogue.

I Never Drank Anything Stronger Than Beer Before I Was Twelve.

I Like Thieves. Some Of My Best Friends Are Thieves. Why, Just Last Week We Had The President Of The Bank Over For Dinner.

Some People Are Born Losers; Others Acquire The Knack Gradually.

I Always Made Up My Own Acts; Built Them Out Of My Knowledge And Observation Of Real Life. I'd Had Wonderful Opportunities To Study People; And Every Time I Went Out On The Stage I Tried To Show The Audience Some Bit Of True Human Nature.

I Have Spent A Lot Of Time Searching Through The Bible For Loopholes.