Humans Are The Only Animal Who Can

Herman Cain Said, Starting Today, If You Buy Into His 9-9-9 Plan, He'll Throw In A Free 32-ounce Soda.

The Russian Economy Is Tanking. It's Gotten So Bad That Today Vladimir Putin Had To Pawn His Stolen Super Bowl Ring. And Putin Will Finance His Next Invasion On Kickstarter.

Hillary Clinton Is Campaigning In Iowa, Virtually Going Door To Door To Every Home In Iowa. Jehovah's Witnesses Finally Got Fed Up And Said, 'get Lost. Get Out Of Here!'

When We Started The Show, There Were Mixed Responses. Half Of The People Said, 'that Show Doesn't Have A Chance.' The Other Half Said, 'that Show Doesn't Have A Prayer.'

If I Can Be Serious Now, And I Have The Feeling I Can.