Hookers Don't Like To Snuggle.

It's Not Good For Comedy To Be Like, 'thanks For Liking Me'. Being Popular Is Poison.

My Real Last Name Is Galifianakisburg.

I Have A Lot Of Growing Up To Do. I Realized That The Other Day Inside My Fort.

You Know It's Time To Do The Laundry When You Dry Off With A Sneaker.

I Do Whatever Comes My Way. But I Get Burned Out On Stage. It's A Lonely World. I Think Part Of The Romanticism About Being On The Road Is You Get To Meet A Lot Of - My Mom Once Told Me, "you've Probably Got A Woman At Every Port." Like I'm A Pirate. Obviously She Doesn't Know Her Son That Well.