I Have A Lot Of Growing Up

I Do Whatever Comes My Way. But I Get Burned Out On Stage. It's A Lonely World. I Think Part Of The Romanticism About Being On The Road Is You Get To Meet A Lot Of - My Mom Once Told Me, "you've Probably Got A Woman At Every Port." Like I'm A Pirate. Obviously She Doesn't Know Her Son That Well.

I Have To Stop Crying When I Watch "the View". It's Not Because Of The Topics At Hand, I Just Feel Sorry For That Couch.

Head Gear, Plus Acne Equals...table For One In The Cafeteria.

That's One Of The Great Things About Comedy: We Can - And Should - Say The Things That Other People Aren't Supposed To Say. If We Didn't Do That, If We Didn't Push Against Those Limits, We'd Just Be Standing Around Onstage And Yelling.

When I Do Stand-up For A Long Time, I'll Get Burned Out, Then I'll Get An Acting Gig. For Me, The Grass Is Always Greener. I'd Like To Do A Mixture Of All Of It. My Goal Is Just To Do Small Movies That I've Written. That's What I'm Trying To Do Now, Just Write Smaller Movies.