Halloween's My Favorite Holiday Because You Don't

I Have An Air Mattress. It's Great Because If Someone Tries To Suffocate Me In Bed I Can Just Poke A Hole In It And Use It To Stay Alive.

They Should Call Fishing What It Really Is... Tricking And Killing!

Sometimes I Feel Like I'm Being Watched, But Then I Remember That My Show Was Canceled Three Years Ago.

Parades Are Man's Attempt To Make Traffic Exciting.

Saying, 'i'm Sorry' Is The Same As Saying, 'i Apologize.' Except At A Funeral.