Donald Trump May Be Running For President.

They're Saying President Obama Doesn't Have Any Friends. The Problem Is That He Can't Get Congress To Approve One.

I Was Talking To A Friend About Santorum. He Said, 'for All My Years In The State Department, I Know One Thing. Terrorists, What They Fear Most Is A Guy In A Sweater Vest.'

Did You Hear This? They Say Now Osama Bin Laden And His Buddy Mullah Omar Have Left Afghanistan Dressed As Women. They Dressed Up As Women And Went Across The Border Into Pakistan. I Think They're Going To Make A Movie About It. They're Going To Call It 'some Like It Jihad.'

Has The Mathematical Abilities Of A Clydesdale.

They Found A Scrapbook With Photos Of Osama Bin Laden From The '90s, And They're Studying Each And Every Photo Very, Very Closely. My Favorite Shot Of Osama Bin Laden Was Right Between The Eyes.