Cry When You Get A Golden Globe.

The Swiss Have An Interesting Army. Five Hundred Years Without A War. Pretty Impressive. Also Pretty Lucky For Them. Ever Seen That Little Swiss Army Knife They Have To Fight With? Not Much Of A Weapon There. Corkscrews. Bottle Openers. ‘come On, Buddy, Let’s Go. You Get Past Me, The Guy In The Back Of Me, He’s Got A Spoon. Back Off, I’ve Got The Toe Clippers Right Here.

I Was The Best Man At The Wedding... If I'm The Best Man, Why Is She Marrying Him?

Elaine: Ugh, I Hate People. Jerry: Yeah, They're The Worst.

Celebrity Is No Different From Any Other Energy. It's A Force For Good Or Evil. It's No Different From Money. It's Power.

I Don't Return Fruit. Fruit's A Gamble. I Know That Going In.