I Don't Return Fruit. Fruit's A Gamble.

It's Amazing That The Amount Of News That Happens In The World Every Day Always Just Exactly Fits The Newspaper.

The Irs! They're Like The Mafia, They Can Take Anything They Want!

My Wife Is Funny. And I Dabble In It. So Being Funny Is Big Around Our House. But What's Surprised Me Is My Daughter Can Do An English Accent. I Don't Know How She Learned This.

The Peak Of Being A Fan Is A Hotdog And A Beer And A Seat At The Game. There's Nothing Above That. Nothing Above It.

Elaine: Ugh, I Hate People. Jerry: Yeah, They're The Worst.