Comediennes Are The Lucky Ones, Because If

She's So Fat, She's My Two Best Friends.

I've Learned From My Dealings With Johnny Carson That No Matter What Kind Of Friendship You Think You Have With People You're Working With, When The Chips Are Down, It's All About Business.

My Daughter Refuses To Call Me Mother In Public; My Little Grandson Calls Me Spongeslob Squarebottom, And Nobody Else Ever Calls Me At All.

I Have No Sex Appeal, Which Kills Me. The Only Way I Can Ever Hear Heavy Breathing From My Husband's Side Of The Bed Is When He's Having An Asthma Attack.

Nothing Is Yours Permanently So You Better Enjoy It While It's Happening.