Back When We Started This Show, The

Over The Weekend, Of Course, Down There In Washington, D.c., They Had The Big White House Correspondents' Dinner. Do You Know Who Was Really Funny? President Obama. So Funny, In Fact, He Has Already Been Promised 'the Tonight Show' In Five Years.

It's So Warm Now, And Thanksgiving Came So Early - Is It Just Me, Or Does It Not Really Feel Like Ramadan?

Obama Said They've Had Some Glitches With The Affordable Care Website. I'll Tell You Something. If You Order A Pair Of Pants Online And They Send You The Wrong Color, That's A Glitch. This Is Like A Carnival Cruise, For God's Sake!

Some Secret Service Guys Crashed A Car Into The White House. And They Had Been Drinking When It Happened. Actually, They Hit A Barrier Trying To Get To The White House. It's The Same Thing That Is Happening To Hillary.

Arnold Schwarzenegger Is Now Governor Of California. He Is A Very Shrewd Man - He Already Has All Of His Sex Scandals Behind Him.