At Any Minute, I Am Four Minutes

Like A Lot Of People, I’ve Always Enjoyed Commenting On Strangers’ Outfits. Unlike A Lot Of People, I Now Had A New Megaphone To Do It With. And, Let Me Tell You, Commenting On People’s Hilarious Clothing Choices Through A Megaphone Makes It So Much Better.

Clothing Sizes Are Weird, They Go: Small, Medium, Large And Then Extra Large, Extra Extra Large, Extra Extra Extra Large. Something Happened At Large, They Just Gave Up. They Were Like, 'i'm Not Doing Any More Adjectives; You Just Keep Putting Extras On There.' We Could Do Better Than That: Small, Medium, Large, Whoa, Easy, Slow Down, Stop It, Interesting, American.

Why Are There Not Positive Mysteries? It's Always Who Stole The Diamond, Or Who Killed The Butler? How About... Who Made Cookies, Somebody Cleaned My Room.

A Lot Of People Like Lollipops. I Don't Like Lollipops. To Me, A Lollipop Is Hard Candy Plus Garbage. I Don't Need A Handle. Just Give Me The Candy.

I Want To Launch A Globe Into Space Just To Mess With The Astronauts.