Artie Is Going To Do What Ever

My Dad Was Superman To Me, And In My Mind He Always Will Be.

For A Degenerate Like Me, Vegas Is Like A Walk Down Memory Lane. Last Time I Went To Vegas, I Went To My Old Coke Dealer's Kid's Bar Mitzvah.

When You Did Impressions On 'madtv,' The Producers Gave You A Walkman That Played Huge Sections Of Whatever Movie Was Being Parodied, With Your Character's Catchphrases Recorded On A Loop. You'd Wear This Thing Around During Rehearsals And For A Week Listen To The Voice You Had To Impersonate Over And Over Again. It Drove All Of Us Crazy.

It's Not A Drug Problem, Until You Run Out Of Money. Until Then It's Just Drugs.

Whiskey Will Always Be A Part Of My Life.