Aphrodisiacs Come In Many Forms: Food, Drink,

I Haven't Had A Drink In Thirteen Years, But Occasionally I'm Tempted To Have One Beer. The Problem Is That If I Have That One Beer, I Wake Up In Tijuana Four Days Later With A Tattoo And A Sore Ass.

My Son's Always Showing Me Pictures Of Dinosaurs And Asking Me What Their Names Are. I Dont Know So I Make Stuff Up: That Son Is A Thesaurus.

Santa Blows All These Shipping Companies Away. He Delivers More Than 2 Billion Packages In Just 24 Hours. He Does It By Sleigh. He Doesn't Use Tracking Numbers And Doesn't Use Trucks. He Just Uses Midgets And A Giant Bag.

The First Day Of Spring Is Known As The Vernal Equinox. The Equinox Is Special. It Only Happens Twice A Year, Like A Good Night In Ratings For Nbc.

A New York City Judge Struck Down A Proposed Law To Ban Sodas Larger Than 16 Ounces. I Think Mayor Bloomberg Should Spend His Time Trying To Improve Stuff Like Education. New York Needs A Better Education System If Kids Didn't Figure Out They Could Get Around The 16-ounce Soda Ban By Simply Purchasing Two 12-ounce Sodas.